My self-scarring experience.

On the 27^th of April 2012 I did some scarification on myself for multiple reasons. The major reason was I wanted to see what it felt     like and the reason for that is I wish to do scarification later on in life to others. YES it was stupid, YES it is improper, YES it was not done professionally, NO I do not recommend doing this to yourself at all.

I had been researching scarification for the last few months and practicing cutting on oranges and other things. I’ve heard of every method, tool, story and knew pretty much everything (well at least I think I do) That’s not to say there’s not something I did wrong or hadn’t researched enough, or didn’t think through properly and that is why I’m posting this. Not to brag, not to just let you know what’s going on but to receive constructive criticism.

DO NOT READ ON IF YOU ARE JUST GOING TO RAGE AT ME AFTERWARDS. If you are polite with your comments than by all means I’m up for listening to what you have to say. And before you say “OH YOU SHOULDN’T BE DOING THIS IN YOUR ROOM WITH A RAZORBLADE THAT’S UNHIGEENIC AND YOUR NOT A PROFECIONAL AND YOU HAVE LITTLE IDEA ABOUT WHAT YOUR DOING” I completely agree. That’s it. That’s all I have to say. I completely agree with that statement.

The method I used was razor cutting and ash rubbing.  The razor was bought from a chemist and I was sure to check whether it had an oil coating (which it did not) so as to avoid unwanted irritation. Why did I decide to cut with a razor and not a scalpel? I would of cut with a scalpel as well if I had access to one so I could see the difference between the two but I like the razor because it is thicker so the wound becomes more open and it also tears the skin a small bit (small tears separating groups of about 7 cells so a VERY small amount of tearing) which helps with healing and scarring a larger amount of tearing leaves you with an weird looking scar and impedes healing.

I shaved the area I was cutting so hair didn’t get in the way or blunt my blade, using bio-oil as to tighten the skin up a bit an moisturise it. I than removed excess oil with gauze and rubbed it with antiseptic when I than let sit for a few seconds before rubbing off excess with a sterilising alcohol wipe.

Then I gave same treatment to the blade, apart from the bio-oil but let it sit until the antiseptic evaporated and I dripped alcohol from the wipe on to the blade but did not wipe it so as not to blunt it or cause micro imperfections.

I knew the design I wanted off by heart, it’s a simple 3 line design so I did not draw a template. I donned a pair of rubber gloves and picked up my blade. I had been practicing on oranges but I knew it was not going be a perfect replacement for skin and especially seeing as I was cutting the topside of my wrists the skin is slightly thinner.

I placed the razor on my skin and pushed until the blade entered about 1 or 1.5 millimetres deep and then cut the first line. It hurt; sadly I had no numbing creamL.  The cut was pretty clean and the pain was bearable but I stopped half way because I started to freak out at the site of something so easily slicing through my own skin, I removed the excess blood with gauze and went back for another cut. Sadly this one wasn’t as deep and I feel as though I will be left with a half well defined scar and a half kindaish scared line. I did not think cut down the white layer of Periosteum under the skin in any instance which is not good because it means the cut wasn’t deep enough.
The second cut is a horizontal line originating from the centre of the first cut. This time I didn’t push the blade in than cut I simply just started to cut. This did not give me a deep enough cut. It may scar for a year or 2 but I doubt it will be fully permanent. The 3^rd cut is parallel to the first but ¾ the size. I pushed the razor in and then cut again but I’ve slightly messed up the end of the cut where I had to release tension so I could take the razor out.

After the cuts were done I took ash from an incense burner I had collected and got ready to apply it. I quickly cleaned the area of blood and sprinkled the ash on to the cuts. The initial add of the ash stings a bit… but rubbing it in stings likes a bitch. It's one of those things you have to do fast and aggressively or otherwise it never happens because it’s just unbearable. It feels like a more painful experience of rubbing off scabs with a playing card… as weird as that is it’s very accurate.

The reason for the ash rub was for 2 reasons. The first is too start sealing the wound and reduce bleeding from that point on and the second is to introduce foreign particles to the wound so extra collagen is produced to reject it increasing the definition of the scar. I used ash from incense because no oils other than natural essential oils are used. The oils don’t under go any chemical change when burnt either they simply get evaporated when burnt. It is widely debated as to whether ash in an open wound is carcinogenic (causes cancer) and it was something I thought about quite heavily until I remembered I lived in Australia and have a 1 in 3 chance of getting skin cancer anyway and so the 1 in a hundred chance I’ll get it from ash doesn’t really bother me in perspective.

All in all I find it a positive experience I learned a FUCK LOAD. I’m happy with the design and we’ll see how it heals. I don’t regret doing it but I do know it was stupid and will continue to research until I am fully confident.

Things I wish I could redo: Cleaner environment and tools (I’ll never be at a point where this won’t want the environment and tools to be cleaner), wish I had a scalpel to see difference in cuts, Defiantly need to cut deeper (epic foresight here) and finally, wish I didn’t post this because now I’m receiving a lot of back lash :D (I’m right aren’t I? you just read that and you’re like “omg… this kid is sooooooo fucking stupid)

Anyway thats my experience and i may uplead pics of healing... but its nothing special so probably not