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Message Icon Topic: Stretched ears and image? Feeling weird :/ Post Reply Post New Topic
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avery8
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Quote avery8 Replybullet Topic: Stretched ears and image? Feeling weird :/
    Posted: February/13/2013 at 7:44pm
I know this is a little long, but please read it and let me know what you think about my situation, it would mean a lot :)

So my ears are stretched to 5/8" or 16mm currently. I am 20 years old, almost 21, and for the past 3 or so years I had always longed to stretch my ears, and one day I decided to do it. I was really into the spiritual aspects of it, and being able to put different woods and stones in your ears. I am also no stranger to body modification. I have been getting tattooed since the day I turned 18, and I love each and every piece that I have. I now have 9 tattoos, done by great artists and am very proud of them. However, since my ears have been at 5/8", I have been feeling...strange. I am gay, and by no means do I really /care/ about what others think, I just wonder if I sometimes kind of "scare" people away? Like maybe people that are totally down with mods, but are maybe just intimidated by mine? I know that the gay community is very centered on looks, which I totally reject, but I just fear someone might not ever get to know the real me because of the intimidation I may or may not cause for them. I someday want to be monogamous with someone, and raise a child, and I fear that i won't get that because of my appearance. I know I can always downsize my ears, but I am torn because I really like them. And I know they aren't even that big, but it's for some reason affecting me. I am very soft-spoken and very lighthearted and I just fear people might not see that side of me at face value. Whereas, if I did take out my plugs, and just had tattoos, I feel like that is not as threatening. Basically i just want to ensure that I am not turning away people that I may really like or come to value in my life because of the way I look. I guess what I am asking is for other's opinions on this? Maybe some comforting words? It's hard for me to articulate how I am feeling, but I think this is the best I can do.
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BigMikeHOOKED
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Quote BigMikeHOOKED Replybullet Posted: February/13/2013 at 10:03pm
If you ARE, in fact, turning people away with your mods, then they aren't people worthy of getting to know you. You are young, you are just starting this journey. For others to  be comfortable with you, you will first need to be comfortable with yourself. Once that happens and your self confidence shines through, someone will see the good things in you regardless of your outward appearance.

My only advice is, BE YOURSELF!! And never, ever second guess the choices you make for yourself and your body. And absolutely do not let anyone else do that for you.
"stay true to your obsessions" V. Vale
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MontanaPiercer
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Quote MontanaPiercer Replybullet Posted: February/14/2013 at 2:14pm
Originally posted by BigMikeHOOKED

My only advice is, BE YOURSELF!! And never, ever second guess the choices you make for yourself and your body. And absolutely do not let anyone else do that for you.


"A word to the wise isn't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice." Bill Cosby
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Keiran1980
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Quote Keiran1980 Replybullet Posted: February/14/2013 at 3:27pm
You are awesome no matter what shallow people think.
"Everyone is from somewhere.
Even if you've never been there." - Ian Anderson
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chcl3
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Quote chcl3 Replybullet Posted: February/15/2013 at 7:25pm
Just love yourself, and be proud of who you are: Always.

The key words are ''Stop giving a F-''. Don't be scared to feel good about yourself!! Always listen to your heart and your feelings, insecurities of all kinds are created by the sick society we live in, the only thing that is REAL & TRUE in this world is the fire that burns inside of your heart - Your feelings, what you like, what you hate, your values...: YOU. Who YOU are.

Feed that fire - confidence, trust  in yourself will bring the right persons to you, and these persons will appreciate you for what's inside, your true self & at this point, you could be too fat, too tall, too black, too crippled, too homosexual or too much of a fan of Justin Bieber if you want to; There will ALWAYS be a path to walk in front of you, no matter what your choices are. Keep your head up and straight!!
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PainfullyPoetic
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Quote PainfullyPoetic Replybullet Posted: February/15/2013 at 7:42pm
I agree with the above. If they judge you because of your mods, A: they probably won't be into you anyway and B: are not the kind of people you will likely enjoy being with.

Sure, by conforming to cultural norms you are in effect, improving your chances of finding a mate. But, with the mods, your eliminating the chance of hooking up with someone who could be more apt to stereotype. So, the mods are possibly helping steer you toward other free spirits. :)
I am pierced, therefore I am.
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Miss_Metal
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Quote Miss_Metal Replybullet Posted: March/03/2013 at 3:46am
I used to have issues with people staring and hating.
Now i just say meh. F what they think. I like it, that's all that matters!
Pierced Perfection
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