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metalbabe
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Quote metalbabe Replybullet Topic: Staring & its affects
    Posted: March/08/2007 at 1:35am
I'm quite sure that all of us have experienced the rude staring of people at some point or another. And most of us are so used to it that we don't take much notice of it nowadays.... At least i know i don't

Staring is rude and a proof of ignorance from the part of the person who is staring for sure.

But how does it affect those around us? The people close to us i mean....

One time i caught the bus with a workmate of mine, and she ended up telling me that before she realised that the stares were directed at me, she was feeling paranoid that there was something wrong with her. I didn't even notice anyone was staring...

When i'm with my Sid, he's all the time on his guard, and commenting to people who are staring things like "you want a picture?" or "never seen anyone with blue hair?" - in a tone that he's willing to pick up a fight if  provoked any further.

Today he messaged me saying 'sorry but i can't take the staring any longer'.........

That made me think... maybe i should dye my hair a darker colour. It won't stop the stares, but it might lessen them.......... For his sake, yes, i'm willing to do it.

I won't allow people's ignorance to ruin my relationship.

I told him i'm going to dye my hair a darker colour, and he said not to do it cos of him, cos this is who i am and he doesn't want to change me.

But maybe it's time to tone it down a tiny bit...... I don't know what you guys (and women) think of this........ but what would you do?

I'm at a loss. I do things for myself, not for others. I've done the mistake of changing for others in the past, and at the end of it all i always went back to my roots.

But i think it might be time to grow up in attitude and do things in a less flashy manner - even though they are not intended to be flashy or shocking.... they're just intended to go along with what i'm feeling at the moment.

Why do i feel i'm trying to justify my actions? Hmmm...... i dunno...... but anyway....... i learnt a while ago that to stand up for your rights can be done in two ways - with aggression, or with 'diplomacy'......... and with 'diplomacy' you're beating the mouse at its own game....

So. Any thoughts?

Perplexing people since 1986
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OMFGeLLii
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Quote OMFGeLLii Replybullet Posted: March/08/2007 at 6:49am
I feel the same way sometimes.. My hairs a dark color right now because I got sick of the comments..and I got sick of my boyfriend having to say things to people. It does start to bug me that people can't just leave me alone and let my hair be orange or whatever color it is at the time. But it's how I like me.

I go through these spurts of wanting to take out all my mods and just stop being judged and stared at..but I never do. I know taking them out would cause me way more pain then keeping them. They're a part of me. I love them. And if people can't accept that then fuck them. Seriously. We love ourselfs. That's all that matters. =] 
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ravenblaylock
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Quote ravenblaylock Replybullet Posted: March/08/2007 at 7:03am
dont ever change for any body ever . after i got my head tatted 2 so called friends wont go out in public with me any more and my girl left but fuck um all
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Albaniod
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Quote Albaniod Replybullet Posted: March/08/2007 at 7:06am
I'm dying my hair bright purple soon, before puple I had bright blue, and before that I had bright pink.
People are just twinkies, I got fed up threatening people, I just let them stare, no matter what you do to try stop them they will just stare.
It's a shame that you feel the need to 'negotiate' in a way with people you owe nothing to. Toning down your hair might not even stop them but if your guy makes you feel like you should, then go for it.
Dying your hair is something reversible. Your not compromising yourself for him, you will still be you, just different hair colour. Never change your personality for anyone though...
Current mods: 5mm lip labret, 2x Vert Labrets, 10mm Septum, 3.2mm Septum, Bridge, 2x Anti-Eyebrow, 2x Inner Conch, Rook.
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sataninacaddy
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Quote sataninacaddy Replybullet Posted: March/08/2007 at 7:34am
Just yesterday I was at hardees for lunch with a co-worker and were leaving, as I got in my vehicle a larger guy walked by my door, he stared in with a troubled look on his face... I just stared straight back into his eyes. He continued walking and every couple steps he'd glance back and stare like he thought i was following him, all I did was stare back at him and give him "The look" I actually get quite ammused now at it, I'm so used to it... ha ha...
Don't force your religion on others, inform them and let them choose!

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cherry_slices
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Quote cherry_slices Replybullet Posted: March/08/2007 at 7:39am
haha yea, people give me the stares, my hairs been every colour of the rainbow, right now its blonde/blue. my stares usually come from what i wear, not my mods, seeing as a lot of them arent really visable.

but anyways, enough about me!
metalbabe, if toning it down is something you want to do for yourself or your own sanity i say sure, but if your doing it to please the general public i say fuck 'em. this is the 21'st century, we're allowed to express ourselves in any fuckin way we choose and if they dont like it, they dont have to look (which they seem to have problems understanding)


Edited by cherry_slices - March/08/2007 at 7:45am
Shes Back.
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socialcoma
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Quote socialcoma Replybullet Posted: March/08/2007 at 11:37am

I guess it depends on who is staring. In some cultures...Indian, some Asian  staring is not considered rude or ignorant. People migrate and bring there culture with them  so remaining tolerant and aware is helpful for me.   

                                                                                                                  Personally i enjoy being really nice to them because most people are blinded by their sterotypes of the "mean or weird" person. I'm not either.. at least most of the time im not. Mods don't make a person anything except tolerant of pain in my book and even that is subject to change....god if my nipples don't heal soon i'm retiring them  !!!
 
so smash the way they perceive you and we all become free .                                                                                                                           by by the way...
 
 
isn't this a case of racism/prejudice...you the "normal" person judge me the "abnormal" person by the color of my skin and the texture of my hair.
 
it's painful to be racist so it helps me to keep that in mind and try to cultivate a bit of compassion for the poor normies. they may never know the pleasure of a quality mod.
 
 
they come with there umbilical cords in hand, looking for a place to plug them in
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XGenevieveX
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Quote XGenevieveX Replybullet Posted: March/08/2007 at 11:47am

Physical traits don't matter, don't think that because you change the way you look that your changing you. As long as you remain the same in the inside then your not conforming 2 the 'norm'. I used2have purple hair, now i'm the blonde haired blue eyed gal at work, i dress up smart, hide my piercings but still inside i love things that are different.

And i agree, it is just ignorance. But you don't have to look different to everyone to be an individual...we're all born individual with our own little quirks and dying your hair to a darker colour isn't going to take any of that away from you. Hope i make sense, sometimes i confuse myself....xxx
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OpheliaImmortal
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Quote OpheliaImmortal Replybullet Posted: March/08/2007 at 12:16pm
I hardly ever notice people staring, but if i do see someone staring, i normally just give them a smile, to me, they are just staring because they are curious.
 
I have a bad habit of staring at people who look 'different' but that's normally 'cause, i think they look good and i know i don't mean the staring in a bad way so i understand not everyone stares at me in a 'bad way'
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Tophurious
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Quote Tophurious Replybullet Posted: March/08/2007 at 12:28pm
you know, I don't even notice anymore. My wife does and she's aggressive about it. She's contemplating printing off a bunch of wallet size pictures of me so when they stare she can give em a picture and say "This way you can stare without pissing the person your staring at off"... Its funny, adults are always telling their kids "Don't stare its rude" But the adults are the ones who are staring and commenting on it... Along the lines of staring, are the comments made behind your back... I don't so much care, but when they say the comments in spanish and I don't know what they are saying it kinda pisses me off... if you want to talk about me fine I dont care, I just want to know what the fuck your saying about me.
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